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    • Thea Vondracek, LMFT
    • Contact Thea
    • Positive Relationships
    • Communication Ideas
Thea Vondracek, LMFT
  • Home
  • Thea Vondracek, LMFT
  • Contact Thea
  • Positive Relationships
  • Communication Ideas

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Thoughts for positive mental health

Psychological Gumdrops

Ideas for Positive Mental Health

Worry is a waste of time and energy

Worry is our brain's way of saying something needs our attention.  When worry enters the thought process, determine if the thought is helpful (leads you to learn something or plan for an event or experience) or unhelpful (ruminating with no purpose).  If it's a helpful thought, create a plan then if the worrying concern comes to fruition you can execute the plan.  Ruminating doesn't affect an outcome or stop a negative experience from happening.

Accept that you can't do it all

When we accept that we can't do it all, we can start to choose what to do.  Be purposeful and intentional.  Dealing with the unknowns and and the unfinished is the daily challenge of life.

Feeling overwhelmed can be from taking on too much

Stress of feeling overwhelmed can come from taking on too many responsibilities, having too many options, and accepting things that just aren't okay with your value system.  You will get done what is most important, one task at a time.  Reduce your stress by focusing on that one thing:  be intentional.  Avoid multi-tasking as that tends to lead us to mistakes and more feelings of being overwhelmed.

Purposeful selfishness

Selfishness is viewed as a bad thing; however, if we don't take care of ourselves, we can't provide good care to others.  Make sure there is balance of meeting the needs of the self with meeting the needs of others.  Yes, there is such a thing as healthy narcissism!

Everyday is a new opportunity

Each day we can choose to do something differently than the day before.  We can learn from our uncomfortable moments.  Turn disappointments into action to choose a different way of thinking or acting, and positive emotions can follow.

"Should" equals shame

When we say "should" we are creating shame that isn't helpful in guiding our behaviors.  It leaves us feeling badly about ourselves and others with no direction on what to do except not repeat what was done.  "Could" is about choice.  Empower yourself and those around you with options.  Replace "should" with "could" and create a plan that promotes positive momentum in your life.  Replace "should" with "could".  You'll feel better.

Control versus Influence

No one can actually control you.  If you feel you are being controlled by another person, consider a reframe from "control" to "influence".  The other person is attempting to influence you as they don't have the power to control you.  You have the prerogative to either accept or reject the influence.  Both choices have the possibility of good and bad consequences.  When we embrace the power of choice we feel more empowered.  If you are the one attempting to control another person, consider why doing something your way is so important to you that the other person's preference doesn't matter (which is what it means to attempt to control another person). 

Intentional Happiness

Self-acceptance and self-care

Find purpose

Be thankful

Attempt influence

Positive thinking equals positive doing

Have a plan

Establish your priority

Expect your priority to shift based on individual needs

Change the changeable

Engender hope

Promote peace

Share joy

Act with love

Identify your strengths and focus your energy on using what you do well.

Question to whom the problem belongs.  If it's you then you have the power to solve the problem.  If it's someone else, you can attempt to influence them, but the problem is theirs to solve.

Choose your response

Consider what you want and what you are willing to do to get it.

BE KIND, BE KIND, BE KIND

For more support on discovering your happiness, look into The Science of Well-being course from Yale University:  https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being


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